Funny

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FBI Hardwork!!

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “Hello, is this FBI?” “Yes. What do you want?” “I’m calling to report my neighbor Tom. He is hiding marijuana in his firewood.” “This will be noted.” Next day, the FBI comes over to Tom’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no marijuana, swear at Tom and leave. The phone rings at Tom’s house. “Hey, Tom! Did the FBI come?” “Yeah!” “Did they chop your firewood?” “Yeah they did.” “Okay, now it’s your turn to call. I need my garden plowed.”

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Baby Sitting

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Interview with Inzamam………..

Most cricketers, who are not comfortable in conversing in English, go

prepare for some standard questions that are asked to them when

commentators chat with them during the awards ceremony. Inzamam was once

asked a different question after Pakistan won the match, for which he

was not prepared. He always used his standard response to the first

question after winning.

But this time…..

Tony Greig: So Inzi, that’s fantastic, your wife is pregnant for the

second time and u must be happy!

Inzamam: Bismillah-e- Rehman-e- Rahim! All credit goes to the boys.

Everyone work hard for it, especially Afridi… It was tight situation

when he went in. Also Bob Woolmer was keeping close watch on progress

and giving instructions. It’s all team effort. Insha Allah, we all will

work together as a team, put in big effort and deliver good result all

the time and will be able to REPEAT the same result.

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Change!

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A Son’s Bad Dream

A man goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having a nightmare – the man wakes him and asks his son if he is OK? The son replies he is scared because he dreamt that Auntie Susie had died. The father assures the son that Auntie Susie is fine and sends him to bed.The next day, Auntie Susie dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare – the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that granddaddy had died. The father assures the son that granddaddy is fine and sends him to bed.

The next day, granddaddy dies.

One week later, the man again goes into his son’s room to wish him goodnight. His son is having another nightmare – the man again wakes his son. The son this time says that he had dreamt that daddy had died. The father assures the son that he is OK and sends the boy to bed.

The man goes to bed but cannot sleep because he is so terrified. The next day, the man is scared for his life- he is sure he is going to die. After dressing he drives very cautiously to work fearful of a collision. He doesn’t eat lunch because he is scared of food poisoning. He avoids everyone for he is sure he will somehow be killed. He jumps at every noise, starts at every movement and hides under his desk.

Upon walking in his front door, he finds his wife. “Good God Dear” he proclaims, “I’ve just had the worst day of my entire life!

She responds, “You think your day was bad, the milkman dropped dead on the doorstep this morning.”

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Original Keralite!

a post from http://www.pulivaal.com

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Business is business!

One day many years ago at a school in South London a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds, “I’ll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived.”

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Patrick.” The teacher said, “Sorry Alan, that’s not correct.”

Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said, “It was St. Andrew.” The teacher replied, “I’m sorry, Hamish, that’s not right either.

Finally, a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said, “It was Jesus Christ.” The teacher said, “That’s absolutely right, Jayant, come up here and I’ll give you the $20.”

As the teacher was giving Jayant his money, she said, “You know Jayant, since you are Gujarati, I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ.” Jayant replied, “Yes, in my heart I knew it was Lord Krishna, but business is business!”

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A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room,

so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally

typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he

sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile… ..somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home

from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail,

expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer

Screen which read:

To : My Loving Wife

Subject : I’ve Reached

Date : 28 Jun 2007

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones.

I’ve just reached and have been checked in.

I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was

Wrong Email ID

A man checked into a hotel.  There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he accidentally typed wrong e-mail address, and without realizing his error, he sent the e-mail.

Meanwhile… ..somewhere in Houston , a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. The widow decided to check her e-mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends.

After reading the first message, she fainted.

The widow’s son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer

Screen which read:

To : My Loving Wife

Subject : I’ve Reached

Date : 28 Jun 2007

I know you’re surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send e-mails to your loved ones. I’ve just reached and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was

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Maveli’2009…Beware of ‘H1N1’

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Onam Special ‘Vanveezhchakal’

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Why only name but no password????

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Excessive use of technology

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Going to school

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
“Wake up, son. It’s time to go to school!”
Son: “But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
Mother: “Give me two reasons why you don’t want to go.”
Son: “Well, the kids hate me, and the teachers too hate me”
Mother: “Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
Son: “Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
Mother: “Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for another, you’re the Principal!”

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Every Woman’s Dream…’MAN ON DELIVERY BED!’

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A gorilla job !

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo.

As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide.

They tell this guy that they’ll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts,

But Hey!

He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn’t so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around.

During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He’s terrified and starts screaming, ‘Help, Help, Help!’

The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, ‘Shut up or we’ll BOTH lose our jobs!’

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A perfect Software Engineer

A mechanical engineer, an electrical engineer and a software engineer are travelling in an old Fiat 500 when all of the sudden the car backfires and comes to a halt.
The mechanical engineer says “Ah! It’s probably a problem with the valves, or the piston!”.
The electrical engineer says “Nonsense! It’s most probably a problem with the spark plugs or the battery!”.
The software engineer says “How about we all get out of the car, and get back in again, It might work…”.

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Saddest Picture

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Women Dumb!

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes.”

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, “Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.

Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!”

The woman said, “That’s okay.”

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, “You do realize that this wish will also make

your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to”.

The woman replied, “That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, “That will make your husband the richest man in the

world. And he will be ten times richer than you.”

The woman said, “That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s  is His is mine.”

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, “I’d

like a mild heart attack.”

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them

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How technology changed us……..

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Most wanted key.

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Over Attachment to computer

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Confused Words

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Output….

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